The Genesis of Another Half-Baked Dumb Idea

I can't imagine that the derivation of the thought "I think I'm going to create a blog" typically comes from someone that has something worth saying.  I am no different.  I have nothing particularly outstanding to say.  I have been told that I am a good storyteller and that I should write a book about my life, but I feel as though those are compliments for people who are slightly charismatic but otherwise wholly unattractive.  So, here I am, writing a blog to no one, but feeling the need to write.  To who?  Myself, I guess.  I have no intention of actually promoting this or even making it public.  My initial Blogger Experience was trying to figure out how to sanitize every piece of information about my identity that I could.  I do not think I was successful.

I am sitting in a hotel room, two hours away from my home, because I live on the road for work and couldn't be fucked to wake up at 5AM to deliver a presentation to a bunch of rednecks about how their drug testing policies are going to change at their company.  Recently I've realized that my entire career could be summed up as simply being subservient to companies that are on the opposite polarity spectrum of my own ethics and values.  I have been in constant high-pressure situations and met with hard deadlines to put pieces of paper into a filing cabinet that no one will ever look at again until their requisite regulatory archive period has elapsed.  A lake of sixty-hour work weeks that discharges into high-stress busywork and ultimately terminates into a delta of diarrhea in an ocean of hotel stays.  At least I've got the Holiday Inn rewards points to show for it.

This blog will not be me bitching about my job.  The whole point of this blog is to not think of my job.  This blog will be me telling stories of my life - sad, happy, tremendous, and everything in between.  From the depths of drug addiction to the highs of college graduation in your late 20s.  From the strange stories that happened when I lived out of my car with my dog for the better part of a year to the conventional "we were so drunk that night" bar stories.  The stories of gaining and losing friends, unrequited and reciprocal love, jobs I worked for years and jobs I worked for minutes.

I just want to tell some stories.  I also want to lower my average masturbation count per hotel visit.  I will write one soon, but for now my lovely girlfriend wants to Facetime from her friend's bonfire.  Cya later, goobers.


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